


and if you say this makes you happy (then i'm not the only one lying)

by bloomings



Category: ONEUS (Band)
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Hand Jobs, Hate Sex, Height Differences, Kinda, M/M, Size Difference, choir, dance club, this was written in 2017 pre ot6 rbwboyz and post jaewoo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2019-06-18
Packaged: 2020-05-13 23:47:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19261630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloomings/pseuds/bloomings
Summary: Hey,Seoho answers,how did auditions go?Keonhee groans at that, pushing his laptop away from his lap and letting himself flop back into bed.“Fine,” he stretches the word out, “long.”Seoho doesn’t say anything for a second and Keonhee takes it as an invitation to keep talking.“Actually,” he says, “it was fine.  Until I walked outside and Yeo Hwanwoong just happened to be by the convenience store.”





	and if you say this makes you happy (then i'm not the only one lying)

**Author's Note:**

> so before i deleted this i originally posted this for the 101 love songs fest. because it was before ot6, the characters are just the original ot5 produce 101 rbw trainees ;; i decided to repost with fixed romanizations and updated names ;; 
> 
> the original prompt was:
>
>> Hwanwoong's head of the dance club. Gunhee's head of the choir. The two clubs have a long standing rivalry and WoongGun, accordingly, hate each other's guts.

He’s utterly clumsy.

Everyone knows.

Lee Keonhee is broad, tall, taking up space he wishes he didn’t.  He has absolutely no control of his limbs, can manage to make himself trip over nothing.

It’s really no surprise, when he walks down the hallway, trying to balance his books and bag, that he ends up colliding with another person.

In all fairness he hadn’t seen them in his way and that’s all he can think of before he finds himself on the floor, books and papers everywhere, hearing the small, almost disappointment _oh oh no_ from Seoho.

“Watch where you’re going!” the person he’s knocked over snaps, Keonhee reacts immediately to the voice, snorting as he gets up reaching for his books.

“It’s not my fault I can’t see you down there,” he snickers and he doesn’t have to look at the other boy to know he’s gone dangerously red, face set into an ugly scowl.

He can hear Seoho sigh behind him, moving closer to help pick up his mess.

“Well we can’t all be giant freaks, now can we?” Hwanwoong pushes himself up from the floor, Keonhee looks at him, offering a smile. 

“Is this how you feel when you have to look up to normal sized people?” he asks as he picks up his history book, pushing it into his bag.

“ _Keonhee-_ ” Seoho starts, finally getting up, looking at Hwanwoong as he cuts him off.

“It’s ok Seoho hyung,” he offers a small smile, “I forget how much of a child he is sometimes, I’ll be the bigger person.”

He turns to walk away from them, towards the dance club’s meeting spot.

Keonhee turns to watch him leave, cupping his hand over his mouth as he calls out, “good luck with that!”

Seoho swats at him with some rolled up worksheets, glaring at him.

“What,” Keonhee asks, hands lifting to rub at where Seoho hit him, lips pouting a bit.

“You know _what_ ,” Seoho huffs, standing up, giving the rolled up papers back to him, “you and Hwanwoong, honestly.”

“Honestly what?” Keonhee grins, finally getting up, messily stuffing the papers into his bag.

Seoho narrows his eyes, completely unfazed Keonhee’s grin turns into a wide smile.

“I’m leaving you,” Seoho turns around, towards the path Hwanwoong took, “I’m late for dance practice anyway.”

Keonhee gasps at that, scrambling to grab on to Seoho’s hand, pulling him back towards him.

“Don’t tell me you’ve finally crossed over to the dark side,” he stage whispers, eyes wide, “the choir would so much better showcase your angelic voice!”

The look Seoho gives him is completely unimpressed but he lets himself be pulled back, Keonhee leading them out of the school.

The sun is setting and the streets empty of school traffic.

Seoho pulls his hand back once they reach the gates.

“Learn to play nice, Keonhee,” he says, voice stern.

Keonhee looks at him, eyes searching before they turn into a playful gaze, mouth crooked in its smile.

“No promises.”

-

The dance team has a nasty habit of thinking they’re somehow better than the choir.  Just the thought has Keonhee rolling his eyes.

The choir has won every talent competition the school has put up since Keonhee was in his second year.  As the new president of the choir Keonhee intends to get a win under his reign.

“Thanks for your hard work,” he says cheerfully as another boy bows and leaves the stage.

“Son Dongmyeong,” he calls out, wide smile spreading when he sees the familiar head of sandy hair, the round wire rimmed glasses.

“ _Sunbaenim_ ,” he bows, Keonhee catches the playful grin he hides as he ducks down.

“Stop playing around,” Keonhee snorts, “sing something.”

As always Dongmyeong picks something new and poppy, a song by an idol group, Keonhee can barely place it.

“Thank you for your hard work,” Keonhee says when the last note rings through the empty auditorium.

He watches as Dongmyeong bows, footfalls echoing and then calls, “Park Woodam?”

In all honesty Keonhee already has his ideal lineup, he has since the beginning of the school year.  Auditions at this point serve more as formality, and a stray hope that maybe one of the lower classmates surprises him and takes up one of the few empty spots left.

Auditions usually take longer than Keonhee would like, he takes small notes on mistakes, techniques, pass or fail.  His notes are outlined with messy, undecipherable doodles, random reminders.

_ talk to dongmyeong’s band _

_ finish chem lab _

_ buy more snacks _

“Thank you for your hard work,” he says as soon as the boy stops singing.

Park Jihoon looks at him, features soft, eyes round as he bows and runs along.

Keonhee crosses his name out from the list, the last one, sighs and stuffs the loose notes into his notebook.  The auditorium is just him now, he gets up slowly, footsteps echoing loudly. He reaches the door at the front and reaches to turn off the lights.

The door swings close behind him, he flinches with the loudness of it.

-

The evening sun burns orange, casting long shadows as Keonhee starts his walk home.  He plugs in his earphones to his phone, putting his music on shuffle.

The cool spring air picks up, rustling the blossoming cherry blossoms, pushing his hair back.  He reaches for it, smoothing it out as the crossing light goes red.

He’s crossing the street, eyes catching the bright lights of a convenience store when he sees him.

Hwanwoong standing at the checkout lane, counting money carefully before giving it to the cashier.

By the time he reaches the store, Hwanwoong is stepping out, hair pushed up with a headband, cheeks flushed.  His eyes go wide when he almost bumps into Keonhee, bag rustling as he takes a step back, duffle bag hitting the back of his legs. 

“We have to stop meeting like this,” Keonhee grins, gaze looking pointedly down.

The look of surprise flickers off, eyebrows setting into a frown, “you honestly need to learn how to walk," he says, hand pushing against Keonhee’s chest, “I would think even an idiot would know how to do at least that.”

Keonhee stumbles back a bit, grin dropping immediately, crowding into Hwanwoong’s space, “hey, watch it you little _runt_ ,” Keonhee says lowly, “you need to earn some manners.”

A car horn blares behind them and it’s all it takes before Keonhee remembers they’re out in public, he’s wearing a sweater with the school’s name on it and if anyone decides to stop by and report any incident of fighting Keonhee knows the choir will suffer with him.

He shoulders push past Hwanwoong, turning on the volume of his music higher as he gives a careless wave.

He has better things to do, last minute line up changes to consider, a set list to finalize.  He can’t spend much of his thoughts on such a small problem like Yeo Hwanwoong.

He walks through the crowds of people, barely paying attention as his feet carry him home without much thought.

When he gets home, he puts dinner in the microwave straight from the refrigerator, he presses the timer for two minutes and throws his bag on the couch, slips of his sweater and shoes.  

“What a nuisance, really,” he mumbles to himself, watching the plate go around in circles, “he’s not even that great.”

The microwave stops with a beep, Keonhee reaches for the heated food, grabs a pair of chopsticks and manages to balance his plate and school things down the hall.

His bed creaks as he throws himself against it, plate set on his bedside drawer, clothes hanging neatly in his closet.  His choir notes have managed to find themselves under him, the spine of the notebook digs painfully into his stomach.

“Ah,” he sighs, “we really need to win.”

He sits up, reaches for his plate and jams warm rice into his mouth, picking up some of the vegetables at the side.

“Set list first,” he murmurs, “then we see who can sing what.”

His phone rings as he’s going through his music library, it vibrates against his bed and he reaches for it blindingly, smiling triumphantly when he finally finds it, looking quickly at the name on the screen _Minnie_.

“Hyung,” he greets, clicking at his computer screen.

_Hey_ , Seoho answers, _how did auditions go?_

Keonhee groans at that, pushing his laptop away from his lap and letting himself flop back into bed.

“Fine,” he stretches the word out, “long.”

Seoho doesn’t say anything for a second and Keonhee takes it as an invitation to keep talking.

“Actually,” he says, “it was fine.  Until I walked outside and Yeo Hwanwoong just happened to be by the convenience  store.”

_Keonhee_ , Seoho starts, _it's a convenience store by our school of course there’s going to be students there._

“It wasn’t just any student Minnie,” Keonhee insists, “it was Hwanwoong and he pushed me, he’s such a little bitch I -”

_Did you push him back_ , Seoho interrupts, voice already sounding tired.

“He pushed me first.”

There’s silence and Keonhee fidgets nervously, sitting back up.

“Hyung?” he asks.

_ You and Hwanwoong are both idiots. _

-

Keonhee posts the choir lineup on the choir’s bulletin board two days later.  He takes in a deep breath knowing that afternoon classes are ending soon and walks back into the choir room.  He knows some of the boys will go to the board right away, and expects some of them to want to speak to him.

He gets a couple of dejected underclassman walking in and asking what they did wrong and a couple who like Dongmyeong, walk into the room to grin at him and joke around, happy of their outcome.

“Hey,” a small voice calls, Keonhee knows who it is before he even looks up, small smile already on his lips.

“Heeseok hyung,” Keonhee closes his notebook, forgetting his writing homework for a second.

“Just wanted to say thanks for the spot,” Heeseok finally smiles, “It’s good to have something to do now that soccer is over.”

“You know we need you for the high notes,” Keonhee laughs, “plus of course you were going to be in.”

“Right,” Heeseok nods, smile turning into a grin, “Keonhee ah, have you put on some weight?” he teases

Keonhee pouts immediately at that, looking down at himself., eyes squinting, “get out,” he says as he crosses his arms.

“I’m kidding,” Heeseok laughs, putting his hands up.

“Good bye, I am a pretty busy person, you know,” Keonhee dramatically opens his notebook.

“Why are we friends again?” Heeseok asks, laughing.

“Because I am a man who loves a challenge.”

The door opens again and Keonhee looks around Heeseok to see Lee Woojin, eyes nervous.

Woojin vows at Heeseok, eyes wide, before turning to look at Keonhee.

“Thanks again,” Heeseok smiles and leaves.

After Woojin the halls become empty and when he knows for sure there's only the few students of afternoon classes around, he packs up his things, once again turning off the lights.

The sun stretches into the hallways, motes floating between the beams, gently drifting from place to place.

He passes by one of the bigger practice rooms, door barely shut.  He can feel the music before he hears it fully.

He knows who it is before he even looks into the room.

He has no idea why Hwanwoong and him keep meeting, except it’s annoying and that’s all it takes before he decides to turn away.

The music stops and the door opens as soon as he makes his turn and Hwanwoong looks at him with a raised eyebrow, sweat trickling down his temples, his headband missing, hair sticking down.

He can’t help it that his face automatically sets into a scowl when he sees the smaller boy, nerves already on edge.

“Like what you see?” Hwanwoong asks, leaning on the frame.

Keonhee startles at the question, his eyes, _absolute traitors_ , take a moment to look over the other, the way his damp shirt sticks to some places, the strength of his legs.

“It’s a good dance, right?  I think it’s definitely more than what we need to beat you,” Hwanwoong interrupts his thoughts, eyes snapping back to look at the challenging look Hwanwoong gives him.

“As if,” Keonhee manages, mind scrambling, _the dance, he was talking about the dance_ , right.

“What? That's it?” Hwanwoong stands up properly, “nothing else from that big mouth of yours?”

Keonhee fixes the books in his hands, “I have better things to do than to entertain you.”

He turns around, the heat of embarrassment and frustration rising to his cheeks, he hates the feeling of losing, hates how it tastes bitter on his tongue.

“Careful walking home,” Hwanwoong calls, and Keonhee almost turns back but his nerves prickle at the sound of his voice and it urges him to keep walking down the hall.

Dusk is beginning to fall when he steps out, the streets still full. He walks without his music on, mind stubbornly thinking at the strong lines of muscle Hwanwoong had obviously gained through his dancing.

He knows Heeseok was only kidding in the choir room, but as he slowly chews his food, biology textbook open he realizes that maybe he could do with a bit of exercise.  

He thinks about it and decides that the strange feeling he had felt was jealously, he can’t stand knowing Hwanwoong is better than him in anything.

There’s no way Yeo Hwanwoong is ever going to win in anything as long as Keonhee is breathing.

-

Keonhee knows that Seoho runs every night after school.  Seoho is very serious about keeping his body in top shape, his gymnastics and dance require him to.

The park is empty on a Thursday night but Keonhee knows exactly where Seoho is from previous visits and attempted joint running.

He spots him by the open stage built towards the end of the park, its easy to find Seoho with his copper colored hair.  Keonhee starts to walk towards him and notices the other person with him by the water fountains.

He slows his walk as he comes closer hand already up in a wave.

“Minnie,” he practically screams, running up to hug him.

“Ah, too tight,” Seoho wheezes, but his arms wrap around Keonhee and pulls him in tighter.

Eventually Seoho pushes him away, whining at the lack of air.

Keonhee laughs, overly loud as he tends to do.

“I didn’t know you were coming,” Seoho says, eyes suspiciously flickering to look at the other person with him.

“I didn’t know I had to tell you I was coming,” Keonhee responds, eyes also going to the other person, “I never do.”

“Right,” Seoho sighs, tensing when the other person calls his name, turning back.

Keonhee recognizes the voice before he gets a good look at him.

Hwanwoong’s smile is wide, something Keonhee has never seen, but it falters when he finally notices Keonhee.

“Hwanwoong is my running buddy,” Seoho says without much preamble, shrugging when Keonhee shoots him a look.

“What are you doing here,” Hwanwoong’s voice has an edge to it, effectively rubbing Keonhee the wrong way.

“Seoho is my friend,” Keonhee answers, shrugging, “I can see him anytime I want to.”

Hwanwoong doesn’t say anything to that, instead gives Seoho his water bottle and turns to look at Keonhee, “just keep up.”

Seoho’s eyes widen at that, taking into account the work out clothes and running shoes Keonhee is wearing.

“Are you serious?” he asks and Keonhee nods, suddenly feeling unsure.

They begin their run through the park, Keonhee feels the way his lungs begin to burn and his cheeks heat up with the exertion.  He follows Seoho out of the park into the small neighborhood, the path is empty, lit by the few street lamps.

They’ve been running for what feels forever and with no sign of stopping.  Keonhee feels like he’s two seconds away from dying.

He watches as Hwanwoong keeps a steady step with Seoho, both ahead of him as he had eventually fallen behind.

Sweat is running into his eyes and it burns, he keeps blinking and it feels like with each moment he closes his eyes the other two are farther and farther away.

They make a big turn back to the park and Seoho pushes his bottle of water to Keonhee, who’s breathing hard and trying to furiously wipe his sweat.  

“Surprised you didn’t trip,” Hwanwoong says after taking a swing from his bottle, “I’m impressed.”

“Alright,” Seoho interrupts, clapping his hands together, “great work, let’s meet again tomorrow.”

Keonhee clenches his jaw but nods.

-

Friday at the park is about as empty as Thursday.  Keonhee brings his own bottle this time, filling his up as Hwanwoong walks up to another fountain.

The silence is awkward, normally Keonhee would attempt to fill up the empty space, even with a stranger but now he can’t really bring himself to care.

He finishes before Hwanwoong and jogs up to meet Seoho, watching him stretch on the grass.

“You ready?” he asks, looking up at him.

“My legs feel like they’ve been run over by a truck,” Keonhee says simply.

“That sounds about right,” Hwanwoong’s voice filters over, holding both bottles in his hands.

Keonhee doesn’t bother with an answer.  Seoho gets up then, reaches for his bottle and walks towards their starting line, “ok same course as last night,” he turns to look at Keonhee, “try not to fall that behind this time.”

He can hear the the way Hwanwoong laughs at that.

“You wanna laugh?” Keonhee snaps, Hwanwoong turns to look at him.

“You don’t need to give me reason, just looking at you is enough,” Hwanwoong’s mouth sets into smirk.

Keonhee clenches his fist at that, knuckles turning white as they grip at his bottle, “you won’t be able to laugh once I mess up your mouth.”

“I want to see you do just that,” Hwanwoong turns around fully, face hard.

“Would you both just _stop_ ,” Seoho crosses his arms, “I don’t need to deal with this, either you run or get out of my way.”

Hwanwoong turns to look at him, “I’m here to run,” Hwanwoong says, “I’m not sure about him though.”

“Stop worrying about me,” Keonhee says, tone biting.

“You wish,” Hwanwoong turns around, “let's run hyung.”

-

They end up at the convenience store the next day.  Keonhee sits at the steps, balancing his snacks on one knee, legs screaming for him to stop the torture.

Seoho shakes his head once he steps out, taking in just how much candy Keonhee has bought.

“What,” Keonhee pouts, fidgeting under the judging stare, “it’s delicious.”

“We’re going back to the park,” Seoho says, kicking lightly at Keonhee’s sneakers, “get up before Hwanwoong comes out and you both make it into something bigger than it has to be.”

“Don’t be so dramatic, Minnie,” Keonhee snorts, getting up slowly, body in pain, legs burning with his exertion.

“I will once you and Hwanwoong stop being dramatic,” Seoho answers, swinging his bag back and forth.

The door slides open and Hwanwoong offers a small smile, mostly thrown at Seoho, “let’s go,” he says, taking a step down the stairs.

The streets become less crowded as they stray farther and farther away from the shopping center.  The park comes into view, dark and eerie looking. Keonhee swallows nervously.

“ _Ah_ ,” Hwanwoong says, bringing Keonhee attention to him, “don’t tell me you’re afraid of the dark.”

Keonhee refuses to acknowledge that with an answer and Hwanwoong half laughs.

“You’re such a baby.”

“You both seriously need to stop,” Seoho’s voice comes out annoyed, “you know I can run on my own if you’re both going to just fight all the time.”

“He started it,” Keonhee whines, mouth already setting into a pout, “you know it was him,” he flails his arms, bag flapping wildly.

Seoho gives him a look, one that has not been swayed by his tantrum.  He feels Hwanwoong’s gaze on him and his cheeks suddenly flood with a pink blush.

“Cute,” Hwanwoong says, starts walking again, “so you _are_ good at something.”

-

They run early on Sunday, Seoho says there’s less people in the morning so Keonhee wakes up at seven in the morning, severely question his friendship with the older boy.  

He’s the first one to arrive to the park, he fills up his bottle and decides to walk to the open stage, sitting at the edge of it.

He opens his phone, texting slowly.

_ how are u gonna say 7 am and not even show _

_ disappointed and surprised _

He waits for a bit longer, almost falling asleep.

“Hey,” someone kicks at his shin, “wake up you loser.”

Keonhee startles with the voice, eyes squinting as the sun rises higher.

Hwanwoong stands in front of him, face puffy from sleep.

“Where’s Seoho hyung?” Hwanwoong asks, taking a step back.

“I just texted him,” Keonhee answers without much thought, “you seriously need to watch what you call me,” Keonhee adds, voice hard.

“Why?” Hwanwoong asks, eyebrows knitting together in mock concentration, “you're a giant baby and a loser, right?”

“At least I’m not some sort of freak midget,” Keonhee scoffs, jumping off the stage, “you look like troll.”

Hwanwoong’s eyes set into a harsh gaze, “shut up.”

Keonhee’s phone buzzes at he reaches for it, unlocking it to see a text from Seoho.

_ sick, can’t get out of bed. _

Keonhee slides his phone back into his pocket, “Seoho hyung isn’t coming,” he says starts to walk away.

“Where are you going?” Hwanwoong runs to him, Keonhee stops walking, “we can still run, we’re not going to miss a day just because hyung isn’t here.”

Keonhee looks at him, thinks about it.  

They don’t have to talk, he can stay behind and just follow Hwanwoong.

He nods.

“Let me just fill up my bottle.”

The running hasn’t gotten any easier, actually as Keonhee runs this time around he feels like his lungs are trying to physically leave his body, legs buckling a bit under his weight.

He gives Hwanwoong a questioning look when he sees the other boy drop his speed to join him in the back, his cheeks red, breath still coming out evenly.

“It’s quiet without Seoho hyung,” Hwanwoong explains, it feels weird not having anyone to talk to.”

Keonhee keeps running, too out of breath to even consider giving an answer.

“You’re really out of shape, you know,” Hwanwoong smiles, somehow not as biting as the other smiles he’s thrown at Keonhee, “you need to exercise more.”

Keonhee frowns at that, looks up ahead but Hwanwoong doesn’t take the hint and keeps his pace.

“I guess today is a good day to take it easy for once,” Hwanwoong starts talking again, “maybe I’ll get something from the convenience store.”

They do end up at the store, Keonhee gets a coffee and a bread roll, Hwanwoong walks out after him, carton of orange juice already open, a bag full of fruit bars in the other.

“ _Wow_ ,” Keonhee deadpans, “what a treat.”

Hwanwoong pushes his sweaty hair out of his eyes, smiling wide as he does so, his face isn’t as puffy as it had been in the morning.  

It must be the way the sun shines against his sky that makes him look attractive.

“We can’t all eat like pigs, can’t we,” Hwanwoong says around his straw.

-

Keonhee is extremely sore on Monday, walking slowly to classes, wincing when he has to sit.

He catches glimpses of Hwanwoong in between classes, noting the way his walk hasn’t slow, how he smiles when Choi Jaewoo wraps an arm around him like his body isn’t screaming from the running.

He frowns at that, walking without much thought.

“Woah,” someone bumps into him, hands pressing against Keonhee’s chest, “you ok?”

Keonhee looks up, catching the way Yonghoon’s eyebrows knit in surprise.

“Yonghoon,” Keonhee exclaims, “just the man I wanted to run into.”

“Literally?” Yonghoon asks, voice tilting in confusion.

“No,” Keonhee laughs, stepping away from the older boy, “sorry about that.”

“It’s alright,” Yonghoon smiles, “so what’s up?”

They make their way to the performing arts building, taking the elevator to the fourth floor.

“Dongmyeong says you’re in a band,” Keonhee says as soon as they enter the choir room, throwing his things on the desk.

“Yeah? So?” Yonghoon asks, sitting on the first chair he finds.

“And you’re the vocalist?” Keonhee picks up a stray pen tapping it on the desk, “and you didn’t audition for my choir?”

Yonghoon shrugs at that, “I’m in a band, I don’t think I can fit both.”

“Dongmyeong does,” Keonhee replies.

“That’s Dongmyeong,” Yonghoon gets up, walks up closer, “that kid has enough energy to power the entire continent.”

“True,” Keonhee leans forward, “but listen to me.”

Yonghoon stands in front of him, face serious.

“The talent show is coming up,” Keonhee explains, “you know the choir has won for the past couple of years, and you also know that the dance team always comes in second.”

“Right,” Yonghoon nods, “if we all know why are you telling me this.”

“Ah,” Keonhee smiles, “this year I want a live band to play for us,” Keonhee pauses, “as in your band.”

Yonghoon gives him a thoughtful look, “Hm,” he says slowly, “are you serious?”

“Yeah,” Keonhee shrugs, “we’ll even add you to our act name.  Think about it, your band can win the trophy too.”

“Huh,” Yonghoon leans forward, “I’ll think about it.”

“We meet tomorrow at 7:30 am, before classes,” Keonhee answers,

-

The halls are empty, as expected from the early morning. Keonhee carries his laptop in one hand, a coffee in the other. 

When he rounds the corner he's surprised to see Dongmyeong and Yonghoon already there, along with three other boys. 

“You thought it over?” Keonhee asks, voiced amused. 

“We're interested,” Yonghoon answers, “and Dongmyeong wouldn't shut up about it so here we are.”

“Right,” he reaches for the keys in his pocket, “let me just open the door.”

The morning sun shines through the glass windows, dirt streaked.

“Just take a seat,” Keonhee yawns, “the rest will be here soon, sign in Dongmyeong.”

As the hour passes more members show up, some looking like they’ve just woken up, others impeccably dressed, coolly walking into the room.

Keonhee doesn’t wait a minute as he begins to list off the songs, assigning parts and solos.

“Also,” Keonhee finally says, gesturing to the direction of Yonghoon and the others, “for these stages will be having a band with us.  They’ll be at practice when necessary.”

The meeting is dismissed after the band members introduce themselves, taking the set-list to begin to practice the needed songs.

Keonhee is alone again when he closes the choir door, throwing away his empty coffee cup.

He has no classes on Monday.

He thinks about going back home, finishing some of his assignments, maybe going back to sleep.  He rounds the corner and immediately regrets it when he spots the familiar hair, headband in place.

He considers turning around, pretending he forgot something but his feet keep walking and soon he’s close enough that Hwanwoong is looking at him, gaze unwavering.

“You’re up early,” Hwanwoong stops walking fixing the strap of his bag, “what are you doing here?”

It’s the first time Hwanwoong has said something that isn’t an insult or delivered in a hard tone.

“I...uh,” Keonhee clears his throat, “choir.”

“Oh,” Hwanwoong answers, “ok see you later, right?”

Keonhee nods, unsure of what to say, instead he walks away, confused expression still on as he walks out of the building.

His phone starts to ring, he searches for it in his bag, answers it without looking who it is.

_Hey are you almost home?_ Seoho asks

“Walking out of the choir meeting now, why?”

_ I’m outside your door. _

-

“Surprised you and Hwanwoong didn’t kill each other,” Is the first thing Seoho says when Keonhee reaches his door.

“Contrary to popular belief, I do know how to me mature sometimes,” Keonhee looks for his keys.

“So how was it,” Seoho asks as the door is pushed open, Keonhee slipping off his shoes as soon as he enters.

“He talks a lot,” Keonhee states, throwing his stuff on the couch, “like he would not stop talking.”

“Kinda like you,” Seoho smiles, “imagine having to deal with him and you.”

Keonhee rolls his eyes, “you must be a saint.”

“Ok but Jaewoo and I were thinking of going out to eat today, he wants to know if you can come,” Seoho changes the subject, “I’m pretty sure Dongmyeong is coming.”

“What about Hwanwoong?” Keonhee asks, closing his eyes once he’s comfortable in his seat.

“Obviously, why do you ask?” Seoho’s smile is teasing, implying something that Keonhee can’t and _absolute won’t_ understand.

“You know why I ask,” Keonhee whines, “It’s just gonna be me and a bunch of dance team jerks.

“Dongmyeong is coming,” Seoho repeats, “I think he’s bringing one of is band members too.”

“Fine.”

-

They all decide to meet outside the mall.

Keonhee gets ready slowly, changing into some jeans a t-shirt, not bothered to try to look spectacularly nice just to meet with friends.

He leaves with a half hour to spare before their agreed meeting time.

By the time he gets to the entrance of the mall he spots Dongmyeong and his band mate.

“Hyung!” Dongmyeong calls, smiling wide.

Keonhee returns the gesture, letting himself be aggressively hugged, pulling apart as Dongmyeong remembers his friend.

“This is Kiwook,” Dongmyeong introduces them, “he’s younger than me.”

“Hello,” Kiwook bows.

He’s dressed nicely, Keonhee notes, jeans and a nice shirt, bucket hat on top is head.

“I’m underdressed,” Keonhee laughs, looking at Dongmyeong dark buttoned up, wide legged pants.

“You’re so tall you look nice even with a simple outfit,” Dongmyeong assures him.

“Hey!” Keonhee turns around catching the moment Hwanwoong waves at them.

“I’m Hwanwoong,” he turns to introduce himself to Dongmyeong and Kiwook, “captain of the dance team.”

“Oh,” Dongmyeong makes a surprised face, “you’re the dance captain Keonhee hyung is always cursing at!”

Hwanwoong turns to look at him.

“As expected,” Hwanwoong laughs.

Keonhee takes a moment to look at the smaller boy’s outfit.  

His jeans are tight, he’s suddenly aware of the exact places Hwanwoong’s hips curve, the lines of his legs evident from all the dancing and running.

His shirt is white too, Keonhee can see it under his denim jacket.

“Couples outfit,” Dongmyeong giggles, Kiwook giving them a look.

“ _Oh_ ,” Kiwook looks between them, “ _are you two?_ ”

“Oh _god, no_ ,” Keonhee nearly screams, “just no.”

“Me? Dating him?” Hwanwoong’s laugh is louder this time, strained, obviously uncomfortable.

The whole thing puts Keonhee off, mood suddenly sour, _what kind of reaction is that?_   It’s not like he’s some sort of disgusting monster.

“Why would I date someone who can’t even reach me,” Keonhee forces into the conversation, laughing along with it.

Hwanwoong’s gaze flickers to him, “I could make you bend over,” Hwanwoong says slowly, “it’s not like you actually have any control over that freak body of yours.”

“Sorry we’re late,” Jaewoo runs up to them, pulling Seoho with him, interrupting them “I had to leave food out for the cats and the bowls were nowhere to be found.”

He fades out the rest of Jaewoo’s excuses, ears hot just thinking about Hwanwoong’s words.

He doesn’t say anything as they walk to the restaurant, still silent as they sit.  Of course Hwanwoong ends up sitting across from him, giving him a playful grin that Keonhee is not sure how to take.

They order their food, the grill between them set up.

The meat comes and goes, sizzling as Keonhee reaches for it and eats it without much wait.

He scorches the roof of his mouth, tongue going numb with the heat of it.

Hwanwoong smiles at him from time to time, when Keonhee’s eyes flicker to look at him, gazes meeting.

He watches as Hwanwoong refuses the drinks being offered to him, “I have an early class tomorrow,” he explains.

Keonhee drinks without much care, feeling the need to let go of the tension between his shoulders.

It’s not long after that he finally begins to laugh freely, amused by almost anything the other boys say, completely unbothered by the presence of Yeo Hwanwoong.

It’s under the lowlights of the restaurant that Keonhee thinks it’s Hwanwoong, not the sun that makes him attractive.

-

He wakes up with a giant headache and the sinking feeling in his stomach of disappointment.  Then panic. As he remembers that one thought he hadn’t been able to escape.

He feels like throwing up, maybe because he’s drunk too much or because he’s body is rejecting the idea of Hwanwoong being attractive so violently.

He runs to the bathroom and throws up all the meat from yesterday, stomach emptying, dry heaving as he realizes that he can’t just forget the feeling.

-

Keonhee passes by the practice rooms one day after classes, stopping when he gets to the dance team’s room.

The music is loud and he almost flinches in pain at some of the moves the others are doing, following Hwanwoong’s lead.

“Dude,” one of them says over the music, “the choir leader is here.”

Hwanwoong turns to look at him, body halfway into the next move, “stop the music Samuel.”

The music stops and suddenly there’s too many eyes on him.

Hwanwoong pushes him outside the room, closing the door.

“What?” Hwanwoong doesn’t bother with anything else.

“You aren’t running today?” Keonhee asks, “Seoho hyung said we were running today, right?”

Hwanwoong shakes his head, “I have late practice today, just because I can finally look at you for more than three seconds without wanting to throw up doesn’t mean I don’t still want to win.”

Keonhee listens to those words, although meant to be mean, they fall flat, remark not as biting as Keonhee is used to.

“It doesn’t matter how much you practice,” Keonhee shrugs, “you’ll always fall short.”

Keonhee blinks in surprise as Hwanwoong laughs at that, small and so pleasant, unlike the laughs he had thrown at Keonhee before.

Hwanwoong opens his mouth to say something.

Keonhee feels the way his chest hurts, taking in the generous curve of his bottom lip.  The blood rushing through his veins suddenly feels too hot and he leans down, catching Hwanwoong mid sentence, lips clumsily crushed together.

He doesn’t close his eyes, neither does Hwanwoong.

It’s awkward and embarrassing and Keonhee knows he should pull away.

His heart feels like it’s ready to burst, ears a dark red.

And then finally, _finally_ Hwanwoong's eyes close, eyelashes fluttering.

He’s not sure what he’s doing but he tilts his head properly, slotting their lips together.

They don’t kiss for long, Hwanwoong’s hands pushing against his chest, pushing him away, a familiar gesture still somehow unfamiliarly soft.

“I don’t hate you,: Keonhee finally admits, softly.

Hwanwoong looks at him, eyes searching, “and what is that supposed to mean?”

Keonhee ducks down again, mouth pressing a kiss to the corner of Hwanwoong’s mouth, “I like you.”

-

-

-

And then nothing changes.

Keonhee pushes those thoughts away, suddenly too aware of the moments that he shared that afternoon.

Hwanwoong had pushed him away, expression set into something Keonhee didn’t understand.

His heart was beating, Keonhee _knew_ , just knew Hwanwoong could hear it.

“I have to go…” Hwanwoong swallows, “back to practice.”

Keonhee doesn’t call him back, doesn’t have a chance to when the door to the practice rooms shuts loudly, sound ringing through the empty hall.

He sighs, closing his eyes as they sting from his blinking contest with the ceiling.

Those words, so innocent, shaky exhales, leave a bitter taste in his mouth know.

His phone vibrates next to him, loud buzzing sounds that Keonhee can’t ignore.

_ Minnie  _

“Hey,” he mumbles, eyes catching the way his blinds cast angling shadows on the ceiling.

_ Are you going to finally join us in our run? _ Seoho’s voice is soft, not yet annoyed.

“I have choir things to do,” Keonhee says quickly, “a meeting with Dongmyeong’s band, about the live music,” he reaches over his desk, knocking over a couple of pencils, grabbing his planner.

_ Ok _ , Seoho sighs,  _ talk to you later then? _

Keonhee finally gets to the right page, looks down at the time and place of his meeting.  It’s still early, early enough that Seoho shouldn’t be trying to leave their conversation.

Keonhee thinks about it for a second, folding the top of the page, watching the fold stand up, “yeah, talk to you later.”

-

“Hey, hyung,” Kiwook says, sipping on a tall glass of lemonade, “Dongmyeong is in the bathroom, and the rest are still not here.”

Keonhee offers a wide smile at the younger, reaching out to ruffle the newly dyed hair.

“Mint green?” Keonhee slides across him, reaching for a menu, “a bold choice Kiwook-ah.”

Kiwook’s hands reach up, one hand patting awkwardly a top his head, “Dongmyeong said it would fun,” he reaches for his glass again, fingers playing with the straw, “I think it’s ok.”

Keonhee hums at that, eyes only half focused on the pictures on the glossy pages of the menu, “So Dongmyeongie can say setting the school on fire is fun and you would just do it?” Keonhee’s smile turns into a grin, catching the faintest of pink blushes rising on Kiwook’s cheeks.

“No,” Kiwook murmurs, sulkily, sticking the straw back into his mouth, eyes furrowed.

“Keonhee hyung!” Keonhee can only blink before he feels the force of Dongmyeong hugging him, skinny arms holding on tightly for a second before disentangling himself, sliding up right next to Kiwook.

Keonhee watches as Dongmyeong, with his bright smile, reaches or Kiwook’s lemonade, taking the straw to push around the ice before taking a long sip.

“The other hyungs will be here soon,” he says, drink still in hand, “Yonghoon hyung texted me.”

Kiwook’s eyes have gone wide, gaze darting from his drink to Dongmyeong and then Keonhee.

Keonhee offers a small smile, “it’s ok, I got here a bit early.”

It’s only a couple of minutes of Dongmyeong’s chattering before the others show.  Yonghoon makes the two youngest scoot over.

“Did you order anything yet?” Harin asks reaching over the table to take Keonhee’s menu.

Harin offers an apologetic smile before putting his head together with the other, eyes scanning the listed food.

“They just got out of class,” Yonghoon explains, reaching for his own menu.

-

Dongmyeong grabs on to his hand and practically begs him to take him and Kiwook to the park.

Keonhee can’t resist when he looks over and Dongmyeon’s eyes have set into a soft look.

Of course he says yes.

He’s not really paying attention to what park Dongmyeong and Kiwook are taking him to, instead too busy breathing in the evening spring air, the way dusk begins to fade in later and later.

Until he sees the way Kiwook climbs over the edge of the familiar stage, watching as his short legs swing over the ground.  Dongmyeong takes the chance to tackle him over and Keonhee watches as they roll around for a second, Kiwook letting out exasperated sounds of  _ Dongmyeong! _ and  _ quit it! _

Keonhee takes his phone out, relieved when he sees that it’s late, meaning the other two have already started their run.

“Lets keep walking,” Keonhee says either way, tapping his foot impatiently, “maybe we can find a vendor or something.”

Kiwook and Dongmyeong stop their fight not a second later, “Ok,” Kiwook says, looking at Dongmyeong, “get off me.”

-

Keonhee hates himself when he realizes where they’ve ended up.

Dongmyeong looks through his pockets, pulling out crumpled bills and some change, “what do you want Ki-ah?”

The posters make it hard to look through the windows but Keonhee can’t really think of an excuse not to go in with Dongmyeong.

He reaches for the handle,  _ he’s not here he’s not here he’s not here _ , his brain repeats over and over.

He almost believes it, he opens the door, eyes downcast in avoidance.

“ _Oh!_ ” he hears Dongmyeong exclaim.

He stumbles back with the impact of whoever just pushed into him.  His feet lose the ground under them, long limbs unfortunately launching him off the small step.

“Can’t say I'm surprised,” the voice is familiar but the tone is one Keonhee has only recently became reacquainted with.

He looks up, careful to set his face into something neutral.

“Keonhee-ah,” Hwanwoong’s voice sets into a mocking tone, “is learning how to walk properly really that hard for your tiny brain to comprehend?”

Keonhee doesn’t really think about it, somehow he gets up, closes in on Hwanwoong.  He pushes him off the step, smiling as he watches him stumble, trying not to fall, the same can not be said for his bag.

“You’re the one that keeps bumping into me,” he pushes him away as Hwanwoong starts walking closer to him, “maybe you should get your head checked,” he shrugs.

“Stop pushing me,” Hwanwoong hisses, cheeks turning bright red with embarrassment, anger.

“Why?” Keonhee’s voice tilts in fake curiosity, “can’t you fight back?”

“Hyung, stop,” Dongmyeong says, closer than Keonhee expects, “lets just go inside and get our snacks.”

“Why?” Keonhee repeats, turning slightly to look at the younger two, “Hwanwoongie here wants to talk like a big boy but can’t play like one?”

Keonhee gives one last shove, satisfied when he sees it’s enough to finally knock the boy down, landing next to his bag.

Dongmyeong steps forward, making to help Hwanwoong up.

“Don’t bother, kid,” Hwanwoong snaps, “I don’t need to deal with this.”

Keonhee pulls the door open and walks into the small convenience store.  He wonders alone for a couple of seconds, bowing quickly to the clerk before going to the back of the store.  It’s quiet enough that he can hear the muffled sounds of Dongmyeong and Hwanwoong, rapid sounding words that are too fuzzy for him to understand.  It’s not long before it goes quiet and he hears the door open again, listening to Dongmyeong bright greeting to the clerk.

Eventually they find each other.

“I thought you two were ok now,” Dongmyeong whispers as they look at the rows of drinks, Kiwook looking at the selections of sweet breads.

“I did too,” Keonhee confesses, quiet enough that Dongmyeong can’t hear him.

“It’s complicated,” he says when Dongmyeong asks him to repeat himself, “he always starts things like this.  We only really got along because of Seoho hyung.”

“Huh,” Dongmyeong reaches for a small can of Sprite, “ _where is Seoho hyung?_ ”

-

His phone vibrates in his pocket just as gets home, he closes the door, puts the phone on speaker.

“Hey,” he says, walking to his room.

_ How did the meeting go?   _ Seoho asks, voice sounding sleepy.

“Fine, as always.  Dongmyeong’s band have been practicing really hard, they’re pretty good.”

_ Speaking of Dongmyeong, _ Seoho starts,  _ he told me something about you and Hwanwoong? _

Keonhee groans, flopping on his bed, “that kid honestly.”

_ Did I honestly leave Hwanwoong alone for five minutes and you two managed to get into a fight? _ Seoho laughs a little at that,  _ I can’t say I’m not impressed. _

“He started it,” Keonhee drags out the accusation, “he always starts it but you never believe me!”

There’s the sound of rustling from Seoho’s side, the creaking of his bed as he tries to get comfortable.

_ I thought you and him were getting along now _ , Seoho says once he stops moving,  _ or were those days just the calm before the storm? _

“Something like that,” Keonhee answers, words careful, “you didn’t really think a few days would really change how we feel about each other, right?”

_ Was it too much to hope?  _ Seoho laughs.

“Another disappointment brought to you by Lee Keonhee,” Keonhee laughs quietly, his voice empty.

_ Hey, don’t- _

“It’s ok hyung, I was just kidding,” Keonhee reassures the other, “I’m kinda tired right now, see you tomorrow?”

_ Sure, good night Keonhee. _

-

Keonhee has always been like this.  

Anxiety and doubt fill him up.  He wishes he could outgrow these worries, habits that never really do anything but put him down.

He overthinks and overdoes things.  It’s just how it works with him.

Keonhee can’t let others know this, no matter how much they ask.

Keonhee is happy, Keonhee has learned to be happy with what he has, but sometimes these good feelings and thoughts just peel away and he remembers just all the things he hates about himself.

He’s early for his chem lab, eating his lunch outside the room, sitting on the benches near the windows.

He curls into himself as best as he can, a hard task for him.  He wishes he didn’t have to take up so much space, then maybe life would be better and he wouldn’t have to pretend so much that he liked how he was.

Self-esteem issues at his age are probably laughable.  Keonhee should have moved past these silly feelings.

But he can’t help but think about him and Hwanwoong and why, _why_ couldn’t Hwanwoong leave him alone?  Why did he always fight back.

Why was a shared kiss in an empty hallway ok but nothing else was?

He balances his small cup of soup in his hands, shoveling a spoonful into his mouth distractedly.  

He’s not sure what he’s expecting when he turns his gaze down the hallway.  But he blinks in disbelief, willing to turn the person walking down towards him into someone else.

Hwanwoong has a stapler in one hand, the other hand holding flyers.  His eyes widen when he finally notices Keonhee sitting on the bench.

Keonhee can’t help but look back, it’s only them two and he feels ridiculous with the small paper cup in his hands, spoon halfway to his mouth. 

“What are you doing here?” Hwanwoong all but sneers, standing a couple of feet away from Keonhee, in front of the bulletin board. 

“I have class here,” Keonhee says slowly, voice clipped, “why does it matter to you anyway? ”

“You failed all your science gen eds?” Hwanwoong snorts, “you can’t really be that dumb.”

“I’m a chem major,” Keonhee raises an eyebrow, “I definitely belong here more than you do.”

Hwanwoong blinks at that, Keonhee watches in confusion as red rises up his neck.

“A chem major,” Hwanwoong repeats, “you?”

Keonhee puts down his cup, grinning once he recognizes he has the upper hand, “yeah, _me_.”

Hwanwoong looks perplexed, hands hovering awkwardly.  Keonhee takes his silence with a wide smile, eyes taking in the way Hwanwoong’s hair is neatly combed for once.  He’s wearing something besides his practice clothes and Keonhee thinks about the last time he saw him like this, composed, smiling.

His shirt is too big for him, hem going past his thighs, Keonhee’s eyes trail to them, stopping for a second, looking at the way his black jeans strain just a bit over the fullness of them.

Hwanwoong doesn’t say anything to that, instead turns around, reaching to put up a flyer on an empty space in the bulletin board.

Keonhee watches as Hwanwoong eye’s trail to a higher spot, Hwanwoong struggles to reach it, flyers in his mouth, stapler barely reaching in time to keep the flyer on the board.

Eventually it falls to the ground and Keonhee bites his tongue as he reaches for it, walking up to the board.  Hwanwoong makes to turn and look but Keonhee walks up behind him, crowding him between the wall and his body. 

“I can’t fucking breathe,” Hwanwoong seethes, Keonhee looks down when he feels Hwanwoong’s try to push him away, “what are you doing?”

“Helping,” Keonhee says simply, taking the stapler from Hwanwoong, reaching easily to staple the flyer out of Hwanwoong’s reach, “it’s sad seeing you fail so miserably on such mundane task.”

Keonhee looks down then, startled when he sees Hwanwoong turned fully to look at him, eyes glaring, and a flush rushing violently up his cheeks.

They’re close like this, Keonhee has his hands up, stapler still in the air.  He shouldn’t be surprised by the situation, if anything, a small part, a part that Keonhee will never admit to, likes where he is, how he’s ended up right here.

He presses closer, enough to watch Hwanwoong take a half step back, all that the wall behind him allows.

“What are you doing?” Hwanwoong echoes, voice gone dangerously quiet.

The hall is empty, there is no one but him and Hwanwoong and when his eyes trail to look at the other they catch again at the pretty curve of his bottom lip.  Keonhee licks his lips, eyes flickering down the hall before he keeps crowding into Hwanwoong.

He’s holding a stapler in one hand, his other dropping to cup Hwanwoong’s cheek, keeping him in place as their mouths press together.   He closes his eyes tightly, afraid of meeting Hwanwoong’s gaze, tilting his head to keep their noses from bumping.

They kiss slowly, tentative, Keonhee reels in the way Hwanwoong lets him, even for just a second, at the soft feeling of his lips sliding against his own.  His heart feels like it’s been doused in gasoline, set aflame with the way Hwanwoong opens his mouth for him, yielding.

But it barely lends him anything new.  Keonhee wants to groan, cry, shout, yell at him _why does he keep pushing him away?_

He stumbles back with the force of Hwanwoong’s shove.  Keonhee notices the redness of his lips, how they look swollen.  It makes them more inviting but before he can try for another kiss Hwanwoong moves towards him, giving Keonhee no time to react as he hears more than feels the slap Hwanwoong lands across his cheek.

He flinches with the impact of it, hand going up to cup at the stinging feeling flooding his senses.  Hwanwoong snatches the stapler back from him, picking up the flyers that had fallen from his grasp.

“I hate you,” Hwanwoong seethes, looking down at his shoes, “who said you could kiss me?”

Keonhee takes a deep breath, “you kissed me back,” he accuses, taking a step forward.  

Hwanwoong moves away from him, “honestly, fuck you Keonhee,” he takes another step back, “you think you can have anything you want because you’re just _so_ perfect,” he pauses, “I won’t fall into you like that.”

Keonhee watches as he leaves, down the hall and down the stairs.

“Ah,” he says when he’s alone, listening as he hears footsteps from the nearby stairwell, “this really hurts.”

-

Keonhee pushes through classes and choir practice.  The semester becomes busy with these, readings, labs, assignments, arrangements and corrections.

The music is blaring loudly in their choir room, not a voice heard as everyone slumps on the floor, looking wearily at their lyrics.

“It’s late,” Dongsu says, clearing his throat, “we should sleep.”

There’s a ripple of agreement, quiet as if trying to be careful of Keonhee’s anger.  

It’s gotten the better of him these past days.  All his course work and added practice times are running him thin, he snaps too easily, he knows the others are growing weary.

“Ok, yeah,” he says, straining to make his voice bright, “actually, lets take tomorrow off too, let’s meet again on Wednesday.”

Keonhee smiles with the quiet cheers the other choir members muster and turns to walk to his desk, jamming papers into his folder.

He keeps his wide smile as they say good-bye, waving tiredly.

“See you later, hyung,” Dongmyeong says, the last out, eyes tired, “sleep well.”

He’s alone and the room is quiet, music off, only his breathing barely there.  He pushes his thing into his bag messily, wincing when he clears his throat, feeling the raw feeling of his vocal chords’ strain.

He turns the lights off and opens the door, and nearly screams his head off when he bumps into Seoho, hand outstretched.

“Ow,” Seoho winces, covering his ears, “what the hell is wrong with you?”

It’s not the same biting tone as Hwanwoong, but it sounds like something he would say.  He reaches for his cheek without much thought and regrets it immediately when Seoho’s eyes flicker to it with the movement.

“Why is your cheek so red?” he asks, reaching to pull his hand away, “and why does it look suspiciously like a hand print?”

“I slapped myself,” Keonhee flushes in embarrassment, “like just nailed one real good, can you believe?”

“No,” Seoho says slowly, “I can’t actually.  No matter how much Hwanwoong likes to talk about how clumsy you are I know that slapping yourself is way too much even for you.”

He finishes the sentences slowly, eyes going suspicious.

“What?” Keonhee asks, starting to walk, “quit looking at me like that.”

“Do I even want to ask why your eyes looked all panicked when I mentioned Hwanwoong?” Seoho walks after him, a huff in his voice, “did he honestly slap you?”

“Yeah,” Keonhee forces a laugh, “can you believe he was able to reach?”

“Why did he do it?” Seoho bypasses his forced conversation.

“I have no idea,” Keonhee keeps walking, “he’s just weird, you know?”

“What did you do to him?” Seoho squints at him, “tell me.”

“ _ Hyung _ ,” Keonhee whines, pout sprouting on his lips, “why do you always think that everything he does is my fault?”

Seoho looks at him, eyes searching, he must find something tender in Keonhee’s cute pouting, something too open to talk about.

“Alright,” he grabs Keonhee’s shoulder, shakes it, “I’ll drop it for now.”

“Thank you,” Keonhee says softly, and then, “why are you here, hyung?  Not that I mind but you’re usually busy.”

“Excuse me?” Seoho crosses his arm, “I’m busy?  I haven’t seen you at all between your classes, labs and choir duties.”

Keonhee laughs, genuinely this time, “are you going to take me out, hyung?”

“You look tired,” Seoho slings an arm around his shoulders, “maybe let’s go get some food and go back to my place.”

“How will Jaewoo feel about this,” Keonhee teases.

“He loves you, you know it.”

-

Jaewoo smiles when he opens the door, not looking any bit surprised when Keonhee is the one smiling back at him.

“Hey, hyung,” Keonhee waves around the bags of chicken, “can we come in?”

Jaewoo takes out clean plates, glasses for their drinks.  He smiles when Seoho kisses his cheek but doesn’t say anything besides, always quiet.

“How are classes Keonhee-ah?” he asks quietly as Seoho places pieces of chicken on his plate carefully.

“Busy,” Keonhee slumps forward, “I have two labs this semester and the reports make me want to go back in time and punch myself for signing up for them.”

“You’re really keen on punching yourself aren't you Keonhee-ah?” Seoho asks, smile playful.

Jaewoo gives them a questioning look but doesn’t bother to ask, instead takes a drumstick and begins to  eat slowly.

“How about you, hyung?” Keonhee asks, taking a sip of his fizz drink.

Jaewoo chews slowly, “I need to take the cats to the vet,” he looks at Seoho, “you’re coming with, right?”

“Of course,” Seoho readily says, smiling.

“Cute,” Keonhee cooes, Jaewoo flinching at the word.

“You are,” Seoho says, almost dreamily.

“Stop talking,” Jaewoo rolls his eyes, reaching forward for more chicken.

“But you are cute,” Seoho repeats, not looking bothered at all, “why do you think we’re together?”

Jaewoo stops eating and turns to look at him, face neutral, “because actually _I_ thought _you_ were cute and actually had the nerve to ask you out.”

Keonhee can’t be bothered to suppress his laugh, enjoying the way Seoho falters before smiling wide, pressing another kiss to Jaewoo’s cheek in hopes of hiding his blush.

-

“You can stay over, it’s late,” Seoho says as they  wash the few dishes they used, “Jaewoo is already looking for spare clothes...but you’re a giant so you’ll have to deal with what he gets you.”

“Thanks, hyung,” Keonhee doesn’t bother arguing, “I’ll try to be like I’m not even here,” he says with a terrible attempt at a wink.

“Whatever,” Seoho smile is small as he elbows Keonhee’s side.

He’s done helping clean around, smiles gratefully when Jaewoo hands him a set of clothes.  It’s only a t-shirt and shorts but they’re clean and soft so he really can’t complain.

He lays on the couch, the lights off, going through his phone.  He’s trying to keep himself distracted, entertained enough that he won’t think about _him_.

He can’t sleep, is thankful that his classes don’t start early the next day.  He stares at the ceiling, goes back on his phone. He checks his phone, it’s only been an hour.

And then he hears a door opening, hopes to god it’s just Seoho looking for a glass of water.  He mentally curses himself for spooking so easily, mind coming up with a billion messed up scenarios.  

He puts his phone away, closing his eyes as he waits to hear the water running.  

Except that doesn’t happen and he has to bite his tongue to stop himself from screaming when a hand shakes him awake.

“What” he pretends to wake up, willing his voice to sound groggy.

Jaewoo’s eyes look at him, unblinking.

“Why did Hwanwoong slap you,” he asks quietly, “I asked him but he doesn’t want to answer me.”

Keonhee looks at him, remembering that Jaewoo is in fact a member of the dance team and most importantly Hwanwoong’s supposed best friend.

“What,” he repeats sitting up when Jaewoo motions for him to scoot over, sitting as soon as Keonhee pulls his legs closer to himself.

“Why did Hwanwoong slap you?”

Keonhee sits up properly, “what did he tell you,” he finally decides on, trying to be careful.

“He was upset,” Jaewoo shrugs, “he didn’t really say a lot...at least out of the ordinary,” he sighs, “something about how you deserved it anyway.”

Keonhee blinks at that, nothing new, “It was another argument,” he says quickly, “you've seen how we get.”

“He’s never hit anyone,” Jaewoo adds.

“He pushes me around enough, is it really that hard to see him escalate to a slap?”

Keonhee can tell by the look Jaewoo gives it that it really can’t be that simple but he doesn’t say anything Keonhee expects him to say.

“Yeah,” Jaewoo gets up, “Hwanwoong is never one to back down, you’re right.”

“Good night,” Keonhee calls out gently when Jaewoo gets up, walks away.

“Sleep well, Keonhee-ah,” Jaewoo calls back.

-

There’s someone knocking at the door the next morning.  Keonhee groans, knows that Jaewoo and Seoho have left with their two cats and the only person who can open the door now has to be him.

He listens to the way the knocks become impatient and eventually Keonhee wakes up enough to get up and answer.  

He’s expecting the mailman when he opens the door but he should really be used to the way the world keeps making him crash land right against Hwanwoong.

He’s dressed nicely again, Keonhee notices, jeans and a striped shirt under his light jacket.  He’s so nicely clothed that it makes Keonhee look down at himself, taking notice about just how short the shorts really are.

“You’re not Jaewoo,” Hwanwoong’s eyes snap back up to look at him.  

Keonhee realizes just where Hwanwoong’s eyes were trailing from, the skin just above his knees, dangerously close to his thighs.

“I’m not,” Keonhee agrees, “you can leave now.”

“Do you always open the door wearing things like this,” Hwanwoong ignores him, eyes trailing back down, “or are you waiting for someone?”

The implication lays heavy and Keonhee can’t really help the flare that rises in him.

“That’s really not any of your business.”

“Really?” Hwanwoong pushes past him, taking his shoes off before walking into the living room, “you do remember the kiss right?”

The words are hard and Keonhee feels the way his jaw sets.

“As far as I’m concerned it was a mistake,” Keonhee closes the door, “and that still doesn’t really grant you the right to talk to me like this.”

He walks into the living room, Hwanwoong sits on the couch.

Keonhee is a bit unsettled at how composed he looks, the snide remarks.

“Jaewoo hyung  isn’t here, you can leave.”

“This isn’t your house,” Hwanwoong scoffs, “you can’t kick me out.”

“You’re honestly the most infuriating person I have ever met,” Keonhee’s voice rises in his annoyance.

“They why did you kiss me,” Hwanwoong challenges, “twice.”

“You kissed me back,” Keonhee glares at him.

“But you kissed me first,” Hwanwoong is insistent, “I didn’t want you to kiss me.”

Keonhee snaps, “I didn’t want to kiss you either,” his voice keeps rising, “I just needed an easy fuck.”

Hwanwoong stares at him with that, face unreadable, air still between them.

“You’re a fucking piece of trash,” he says, voice low, “I would never let someone like _you_ touch me.”

“Someone like _me_?” Keonhee asks.

“Yeah,” Hwanwoong sends him a smile, “so willing to just do anything with anyone.  No wonder you have so _many_ fans.”

“So what...you’re jealous,” Keonhee refuses to take the bait, “how cute.”

“Jealous of you?” Hwanwoong’s laugh is loud, “as if.”

“No,” Keonhee is careful, “jealous of them.”

There’s a dangerous flash from Hwanwoong’s eyes, something Keonhee's proud of causing but that’s all he expects of him before he realizes he’s been pulled over, tumbling into the couch painfully, and his lips are cut painfully against Hwanwoong’s teeth.

This kiss is different than the others.  It’s not shy or fluttering or unsure. It’s painfully bruising, the sharpness of teeth jagged as he tastes the saltiness of blood lingering between them. 

And it’s Hwanwoong kissing him.

Tongue breaching into his mouth as Keonhee lays dumbly under him, hands limp between them.  He knows he should push away but the warmness between them is _almost_ pleasant, and he nearly chokes when he feels the smallest of movements from Hwanwoong’s hips  pressing against his own.

But that’s all he gets before Hwanwoong pushes himself away.  Keonhee opens his eyes, taking in the way his cheeks have gone red with his flush, how it starts to spread down his neck.

They’re breathing heavily and Keonhee can feel the way his heart nearly stops when Hwanwoong’s hips unmistakably and purposely rut forward.

He can’t really help it when his hips follow, canting up to try to meet the other.

“Already so excited,” Hwanwoong’s smirk is off putting, reminding Keonhee who he’s really doing this with, “better be careful before you come from just this.”

He knows it’s meant to be an insult, but his stomach still does strange things hearing these words come from the smaller boy, his annoyance flares along with his arousal and it’s the most confused Keonhee has ever been.  

He can feel just how hard Hwanwoong is himself but bites his response back, instead lifting his arms to wrap around the other.

He manages to flip them over without a mishap and doesn’t stop to think before pressing the palm of his hand against the line of Hwanwoong’s hard on.

He smiles, satisfied, when he hears the gasp, breathy around the edges.  He presses harder, the denim rough against his hand, he imagines how uncomfortable it must be pressed against Hwanwoong.

“You’re all bark and no bite,” Keonhee lays over him, mouth skimming the line of his jaw, leaving a too tender kiss on his cheek before bearing his teeth to bite along his ear, “I bet you’ve never done anything but kissing.  It’s all you ever have done with me.”

“You aren’t the only boy in the word,” Hwanwoong grits out, “and you aren’t someone I would want to do anything with.”

“And yet here we are,” Keonhee dips lower, kissing the soft curve between Hwanwoong’s neck and shoulder, “you under me, my hand on your dick.”

Hwanwoong hips ride up against Keonhee’s hand at the words, embarrassingly proving a point that Hwanwoong knows he can’t deny now.

“If you aren’t going to do anything then get off me,” Hwanwoong finally manages to speak up, mouth dropping in a half moan when Keonhee squeezes him through his jeans.

“You want me to do something?” Keonhee’s voice tilts in amusement, ticking the skin of Hwanwoong’s neck, “what a development.”

“Fuck you,” Hwanwoong snarls, “get me off or get off me.”

Keonhee doesn’t bother with a response, instead presses a grin to the side of Hwanwoong’s neck when he feels the way his breath hitches, his hand unapologetic as it reaches into his pants and underwear, wrapping around the hard line of his dick.

“Like _this_ Hwanwoong-ah?” he mutters, hand slow with its movements, pumping up and down.

Of course he doesn’t really care for an answer, happy to do what he want as he picks up his speed.  He grows frustrated when the tightness of Hwanwoong’s jeans get in the way, uses his other hand to unbutton them and pull the zipper down. 

The extra room lets him pick up the pace and with his dry hand he sets on a punishing speed.  He’s careful not to let anything make the slide easier for the other, avoids touching the head.

He smiles to himself when he feels the way Hwanwoong tries to curl into himself, voice breaking every time he tries to speak.

“Can’t you not even do this right,” Hwanwoong says around a pained whimper, completely destroying the intent of the words.

“I can,” Keonhee is deliberate with his words, trying to sound completely unaffected even with the way his own arousal strains against his shorts, “but I don’t really want to use any effort on you.”

He knows he’e close either way, no matter how painful it might be it’s still attention on his dick and Keonhee swallows when he feels it twitch in his hand from the attention.

He bites down, not bothering to be gentle, biting down hard, enough that he knows he’ll leave a mark against the flare of his shoulder.

“Go ahead, Hwanwoong-ah,” Keonhee whispers, “come in your pants just because of my hand,” he squeezes tighter, “doesn’t it feel good?”

Hwanwoong gasps at the feeling, the air leaves him halfway and Keonhee has to restrain himself from moaning when he feels the way Hwanwoong comes in his hand, warm and messy.

He pulls his hand back after a couple of seconds, wiping his hand on the front of Hwanwoong’s shirt, “that was fast,” he pushes himself up, “I didn’t even have to try to get you like this.”

Hwanwoong doesn’t look at him, hand thrown over his eyes, trying to catch his breath.

Keonhee notices, yet again how small the other really is.  He smiles as he reaches forward, easily picking him up. 

He kicks Hwanwoong’s shoes out the door once he dumps the boy outside, “Well, that was one way to kill time, not much fun but I can’t really expect anything from you.”

Hwanwoong looks up him, catching on slowly.

“You should probably go home and change before you run into Jaewoo and Seoho hyung with come in your pants.”

Keonhee closes the do before Hwanwoong can say anything and tries to push past the regret that barrels into him.

Touching Hwanwoong like that was probably the most exhilarating thing, probably the one thing he has wanted for the past couple of weeks.  But he hates it, knows Hwanwoong hates it too.

He’s still hard.  

He decides on a shower, tries to think about someone else as he touches himself, tries to pretend that it could be anyone but Hwanwoong who has made him like this.

He convinces himself that it could have been anyone and he would have still gotten hard, convinces himself that he has never confessed to the other, that he didn’t spend days trying to get him.  

He’s clean and awake now and he decides that _no_ , it wasn’t Hwanwoong, he doesn’t need him.

Hwanwoong is nothing to him.

**Author's Note:**

> find me/talk to me about this fic or other fics or give me ideas/prompts for pride month/talk to me (if you wanna) on my [twitter](https://twitter.com/bIoomingly) / [cc](https://curiouscat.me/bloomings)
> 
>  
> 
> ~~for the anon who gave me a keonwoong prompt; read this while i work on your prompt ;;~~


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